Monday, August 29, 2011

Our Baby, Q

Four weeks ago today, I received a phone call that my husband had been injured in Afghanistan. This is a phone call that anyone would dread, but I always wanted that over having a Marine show up at my door to tell me that my husband was dead. I waited several hours, and then that reality hit.
My love, my best friend, my other half, my better half, the love of my life was killed.
It still hasn't completely set in and I don't think it will for a couple of months, when everyone else is home except for him and the four other Marines who gave their lives in their battalion.
Not only do I have the almost six years of marriage that we shared together to remember, but I am beyond blessed that he gave me beautiful boys in which I see a little bit of him in different ways in each of them.
I not only have our sweet Tyson who understands and smiles when he says that his daddy is in heaven, singing to Jesus. I not only have our sweet Zachary, who reminds me so much of his daddy. But I also have a symbol of our love and union inside of me, our Q, as his daddy started calling him before he was called home to heaven.
I had a 3D/4D ultrasound done a couple of months ago, where we found out that we were having another boy. I was able to send Leon a picture of Quentin, which he admitted looked a little weird since I was only 15 weeks pregnant at the time of the ultrasound; but it makes me so happy to know that he not only knew that he was going to have a third son, he knew his name, and he saw him.
Even though my precious Quentin Isaiah, or Q, will never see his daddy on earth, I rest a little easier knowing that his daddy saw him.
Q is a bittersweet treasure for me right now. It breaks my heart beyond belief that my three boys will not have their daddy, it breaks it even more for Quentin..... But every little kick and nudge that I feel from my eggplant sized baby is a reminder of the love that we shared.