Saturday, December 12, 2015

My Child of Divorce

I have a child of divorce. He is one of the most loyal, dedicated, and fiercely protective beings I know. When he was young, his world was turned upside down, and it left many scars on his young soul. As he grew, he hurt. He bottled everything up, and he forgot. According to Dr. Judith Wallerstein, it's been found that children of divorce "strongly value love, marriage and parenthood, despite being wary of commitment and are remarkably compassionate and attuned to others' feelings." 

Children of divorce are often expected to fail or to do whatever their parents did. However, I have found that this has actually made him more aware of what not to be, and what TO be. He knows the kind of husband and dad he needs and desires to be and he is constantly working to be that person. When someone is important to him, he will do anything to protect them and keep them from harm or hurt in any way. He is very in tune with the emotional needs of others, that's one of the things that attracted me to him the most. He was my best friend and I could tell him anything, without the fear of judgement or condemnation. 

Was I nervous about marrying the child of divorced parents? Yes, I honestly was. I have always had a very difficult time trusting people and it's something I have to constantly work at. But I knew this was right, I knew I loved him and I just had to be with him for the rest of my life. But in the back of my mind, I always feared him leaving me - especially when life got hard. Then, life got hard.... real fast. And he was there, by my side. I cried many tears and had a lot of doubts. But once again, he was always there, right by my side.

We certainly aren't perfect, but God is on our side and He is guiding us as we continue to seek His will for our lives. I often look back to four years ago when I would be giving birth to my third son, only four months after his father had been killed. I look at where God has brought us, I look at the smile on my kids face when they get to have "man night" with their dad, and when I hear them pray thankful prayers, I just can't help but thank God for my child of divorce.

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Common-Characteristics-of-Adult-Children-of-Divorce#ixzz3u8G25kUI